As I write this there is a battle going on near the Headquarters of the Muslim Brotherhood in Moqattam, Cairo. In the simplest form, the battle started yesterday, after a peaceful (loud, maybe annoying, even possibly insulting, and certainly graffiti-making, but mainly peaceful) anti-brotherhood protest was attacked by members of the Muslim Brotherhood.

IslamistSlapalooza In Moqattam

Ignoring the horrible music that has been set to it, this video shows just how the Muslim Brotherhood thinks women protesters should be treated:

It’s worth noting that this was happening while the Commission on the Status of Women was trying to put an end to violence against women worldwide, an effort that the Muslim Brotherhood declared abhorrent and treasonous to Islamic Moral Values.

The MB’s Position on Women & Bastards

The Brotherhood released a statement claiming that the CSW’s declaration, if ratified, would ‘lead to complete  disintegration of society’ – yes, that’s what they actually said, bad grammar and all. Read it.

Predictably, the MB are offended by the very notion of people having the right to choose their sexual orientation, I mean, they’re the MB, right? I mean…Gays are Evil Women-Like Creatures Who Rattle God’s Throne with Every Pelvic Thrust, right? Sure.

The MB don’t stop there, though; girls should have access to contraceptives, allowing abortions is tantamount to legally imposing promiscuity on adolescent girls, women have no power to divorce, and of course, women cannot travel anywhere without the formal consent of her husband.

Oh, the MB also find it deplorable that illegitimate children are given equal rights, because clearly – you are responsible for which vagina you used to come into this world, and are to be held accountable for the indiscretions of your parents, who must be total motherfuckers if they weren’t married…

Everything about the MB reminds me of the Westboro Baptist Church

Violence Begets V’s

So now there’s a battle going on at Moqattam, and it has been going on since yesterday. On the side there’s the anti-Morsi protesters, and on the other side a curious mix of Central Security Forces & Muslim Brotherhood – an unholy alliance if ever one existed.

It certainly doesn’t help when we see something like this reported:

This is a tweet from OnTV’s correspondent saying that when protesters captured a masked ‘security’ man from the other side and took off his mask, they found him bearded. The reason this matters at all is that despite some policeman currently trying to change facial hair legislation for police officers, we’ve heard of no such instances within the amn markazy, or Central Security.

Slomo Crash

Slow motion crashes are fun. Here, look at a few:

We’re caught right in the middle of one.

Everybody in Egypt is expecting a massive crash, and for the most part, we all seem to understand that it’s inevitable. Morsi is too stupid, and the opposition is too weak, and the army is amoral and concerned only with it’s own self-maintenance.

Economically, we are, not to mince words – fucked. Nothing the Muslim Brotherhood has done has helped alleviate that. I used to think, when I put on my Evil-Mastermind Hat that Morsi would be a smart, sinister game player, that armed with the strategic cunning of the MB’s Guidance Council, he would implement some basic economic reforms, implement some economic justice, raise some wages, placate the business men, encourage foreign investment and tourism, and in return gain enough popularity to completely screw the intellectual / liberal / secular / leftist opposition on matters of censorship, free speech, and other things that the less privileged don’t consider their utmost pressing urgency.

Skillful Leadership

In fact, Morsi & the MB have proven that they not even intelligent enough to be called ‘sinister’. In fact, they are bungling idiots, whose strategic leadership skills are exemplified in this short video –

That’s not how you run a country, especially not one as large and pivotal as Egypt. Morsi and the Muslim Brotherhood are running on trial and error, and they have proven intent on trying out all the errors.

It’s not going to work.

That the Brotherhood (I keep wanting to say ‘of Evil Mutants’) has failed not only to fulfill the aspirations of the revolution, but to simply ‘run’ a country is obvious, and it has led to Morsi’s failure to secure funds from Berlin, and the recent resolution from the European Parliament is not soft, and in a not-so-veiled message, expresses solidarity with the ‘Egyptian people’.

We all know what that means, and we all know where this is going.

The Military Phoenix As Airbag

And lo and behold! In the middle of the Islamist Darkness the people first decided to ignore how bad the army had been because, well – it wasn’t as bad as this. They pleaded for the army to reign in the chaos, and the army, ever faithful, acquiesced to wielding the political axe.

Now the army gets the same deal they made with the Islamists (we keep our shit, you give us our portion of the budget, you don’t ask where it’s going, you don’t fuck with us, you don’t fuck with any of us, etc) – but they simply make the deal with a new political ‘front’ that pulls in some of the MB along with some of the ‘Opposition’ – thus forcing both sides into a marriage of convenience.


Dream on.

The army is at best an airbag, they will not stop us from crashing, at the very most, and only at the most functional of levels, will they spring up into our faces (along with their guns and requisite virginity check-ups) after the collision has already taken place.

After, not before…but after.

Brace yourselves.