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The Truth About Pigeons!

By on Dec 1, 2001 in Politics | 0 comments

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There’s nothing better than those lil ‘did you know’s, is there? I mean, here I am, watching MTV, and god knows what it’s called, but they have this bit – where they show ‘facts’ while the songs are playing. There’s a name for it. I forget.

However, here I am, watching MTV, and…sure, some of the ‘factoids’ make sense. Y’know – stuff like “Arthur Winkler was born in 1982, two inches away from a rhinoceros…” Etc…

Sure, I can deal with that. I mean, it has a meaning, perhaps silly, but it’s there.

Then I’m confronted with pigeons. I see one ‘factoid’ that makes no sense to me, none at all. MTV tells me that “Placing a mirror next to some pigeons who prefer to lay eggs in company, let’s them do so.”

Read that again. Please.

The most I can get out of that is :

“Placing a mirror next to some pigeons who prefer having mirrors next to them when they lay eggs, helps them do so.”

A truism. A simple, inane truism. Anything else is extrapolation. Who the hell got us into the pigeons’ brain? I lay no claim to the pigeons’ mind. Then they follow it up with horrifying induction, a careless, reckless to all kind races of pigeon everywhere, the ultimate slap in the face.

“This makes the pigeon believe that there is another pigeon with it.”

Sure, it could mean that. It could mean a dozen other things. It could mean pigeons are narscistic, and like watching themselves lay eggs. It could mean pigeons are insecure about their personal appearance and are comforted when confronted with themselves to check out. It could mean pigeons have a very short memory, enough not to remember where to lay the egg from, or where it’s ass actually is, and needs to see a pigeon’s shape to remember where the egg is coming out from. It could mean that the Pigeon God, is shaped like a pigeon, and pigeons are forbidden to lay an egg without the God-Presence. It could mean dang-blasted anything.

Absolutely anything.

“I know what you don’t know about me,
I know what I don’t know about you.
I just know when I need to sleep.
I know just when I need to eat.”

Then again, do you remember how MTV defined Rhetoric ?

Yeah. We’ll survive.

No. Actually, we won’t.

We will not survive.

Something will, sure.

Unavoidably.

We have to be careful.

I banish ‘whatever‘ from my presence. I invoke vigilance, and attempt an evocation of care.

Abide by nothing save Grace.

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