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This Word You Keep Using…

By on Jan 25, 2013 in Politics | 1 comment

The Muslim Brotherhood lives in a Bizarro World. In their universe, the supreme authority is not the God of Islam, to whom all individuals have access through their hearts and innate moral compass (the fitra) but the Guidance Council. In their universe anybody who is not a member of the Muslim Brotherhood is not really a Muslim. In their universe, wisdom comes from Sheikhs who insist that Hindus worship cockroaches, and not from the Quran. In their universe, it is okay to marry for a Muslim man to marry a Christian woman, but not to wish her a merry Christmas. In their universe, it is moral to use electoral fraud to secure political power. In the summer of 2011, during the interminable Tahrir sit-in of July, I took it upon myself to converse with some of the Brotherhood members when they decided to come and invade the square one day while we were there. We were there for a month –...

My Version of Sultan’s Speech.

By on Jun 24, 2012 in Politics | 0 comments

To avoid all suspense – The last page reads: Superman is actually Clark Kent. Now, onwards: We sailed the storms, and we defeated fire breathing hell-spawn! We battled mythical monsters and corrupt politicians! We got wet. Twice. We endured thunder, rain, sleet, and hail. We grew cold in winter, smelly in summer. We had a cough, we sneezed. I myself had a cold. Nasty. We endured boredom, we had to suck Tantawi’s cock. We masturbated without porn, and we had to eat corned beef. Our underwear was tight. We put on weight, lost weight. We picked our noses, then we picked each others noses. There were buggers all around. We endured. Survived. We laughed, we cried. Then we got drunk. Somebody told a dirty joke. We laughed. Then we cried. Then we got drunk again. It was horrible. Our souls were overwrought with responsibility. Our backs burdened by accountability. Our dandruff came...

Blame The Brotherhood

By on Jun 9, 2012 in Politics | 1 comment

There’s a storm brewing across Egypt. The last scene of the first Act is coming to bear on us, and the actors are mostly in place, and the lines are getting drawn, sharper each day. There’s a storm brewing, and it’s a doozy. On their part, the Supreme Council of the Armed Forces henceforth know as ‘SCUM’ (Yes, I know it’s not an acronym, and no, I don’t care…) have got their Mubarak replacement puppet all propped up. Shafiq is own homegrown George W. Bush. He re-writes the very foundations of both semantics and syntax as he speaks, and he is equally dismissive of the great responsibility he claims to be fit to bear. Dutifuly, he is the ultimate anti-revolutionary; he is stupid, he stammers, all he can do is speak, and he speaks badly, he promises stability while around him, his own HQ’s are set to flame, and he is hounded by...

The Brotherhood Just Can’t Win

By on Jun 6, 2012 in Politics | 0 comments

The MB are helping BURY the revolution. Rather than cooperate in forming a Civil Council – as we have been suggesting for more than a year and a half – they insist on playing SCAF’s game – which they simply CANNOT win. They’re simply too stupid and vain to see the obvious. The fact is that Shafiq has already got 25% – add to that the Amr Moussa votes, which Shafiq WILL get and Morsi will NOT – and that’s 36% – add to THAT – some of Hamdeen Sabbahi’s voting block – who didn’t like Moussa but also don’t want MB (whether Moussa or Aboul Fotouh) and you’ve got say, another 10% – that’s 45% – which makes it VERY, VERY EASY for SCAF to give Shafiq the 5-10% he’ll need to win. That’s not even mentioning the people who didn’t vote in the 1st round who will NOW go vote...

Stunned By Shafiq? Really?

By on May 27, 2012 in Politics | 1 comment

I’m in AWE of so-called revolutionaries who are ‘stunned’ by Shafiq’s ‘sudden’ rise. The regime that regularly gave Mubarak 99.9% of the votes would have absolutely NO trouble giving Shafiq a measly 25% of the votes. Especially since they don’t need to give him all the 25% – I’m sure basic fear and ignorance and the gun held to the public’s face by SCAF helped him get a few – as did the basic feloul-ness of many of our families and friends – let’s say that got him 10-15% – what about the rest? We all know the cases filed against his campaign alleging CSF and Police were given multiple ID’s to vote for him, we also know that he violated ‘electoral silence’ BLATANTLY by publishing ads after the silence was imposed. We also know that his campaign spent FAR more than the 10 million L.E. he...

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