My Nuke For An Euphemism!

My heart goes out to the editors at USA Today. It must be hard reporting news. It must be harder still reporting news to America. It must be pretty damn difficult to report news that America does not want to hear.

You can picture the scene.

The editors are sitting around, everybody’s coffee’s a bit darker than usual, they’re fuming the place up with cigarettes and cigars, and wondering what to do.

“We can’t just put a lid on it – all the international press is reporting the story. The guy’s an analyst at the Pentagon, for christ’s sake! He’s been spying for the Israelis! Of course it’s news. It’s all other the European news, and the Middle East press! Should I even mention Al-Jazeera?!”

“Fine. So now what? You’re telling me you want us to run a story about ‘America’s Friend’ that says they’re spying on us!? That they’ve got intelligence analysts in the pentagon working for them? That the people who advise our decision makers are paid in Shekels?! Cause if that’s what you’re sayi-”

“I’m not saying that.”

“What are you saying, then?”

“Everybody else is reporting it. Everybody.”

“We can’t run a spying story. Pollard didn’t happen that far back. ”

“…”

“…”

“information-sharing!'”

“What?”

“information-sharing’! That sounds innocent enough! It doesn’t even sound like the information is being taken – it’s just being ‘shared’. ”

“Hmmm…I don’t know about that. It sound like those online freaks, all that sharing stuff. File sharing – like hackers…”

“Look, it’s not spying!”

“Okay, run it. …wait!”

“Yeah?”

“Make it ‘information-passing’. That’s better, sounds nice and friendly.”

Sounds like a joke, eh? Something I made up, right? Well, I would’ve thought so too, had I not read this.

Give it a look.

Consider the desperation it must’ve taken to write such a thing.

Glory Be, America; May Your Slumber Be Nice & Smelly…

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2 Comments

  1. hi ya 3omr how r u?
    i hope ur fine
    el blogeer bta3ak lateef awy bas le2saf mosh fhma manooh ay 7aga ya reet tba2h
    t3mel wa7eed kman 3rbeey ok
    aftak el bloogeer 3andy
    bye

  2. nice…
    Do you read arabic?
    If so, check my blog.
    Ramy

    http://beyondnormal.blogspot.com

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